harriedmom.com

UNO Advice

2008-01-05T21:34:00.000-05:00

Don't play UNO when feeling tired. It's guaranteed to be one of those rounds that last way beyond bedtime with reversal and skip cards flying, and your youngest with too many cards for an octopus to hold. The older kid wants to stop, but not the others. An arguement. Then whining. More arguing and then crying. Finally, with one card left, you yell UNO and your kids think you cheated just to finish the game. Is it possible to cheat at UNO? HINT: Save a wild card to play last.

With so much to do this time of year, I feel a lot like this guy:

2007-11-26T11:46:00.001-05:00

Are you busy this week?

2007-10-15T19:39:00.000-04:00

My harried week:

Take Brownie troop on hike, then try selling nuts and magazines no one wants to buy.
Chaperone the all-school field trip and don't embarrass own kids by being the silly mom.
Flu shots for the family—Ouch!
Nag kids to do book reports, but first nag them to finish reading books for said reports.
Call mom and apologize for not calling last week.
Close my eyes and pick paint for son's bedroom and hope one of his choices isn't black.
Sort out over 300 books purchased for school author visit and ignore my husband saying, "Why did you volunteer for this?"
Buy three presents for upcoming local birthday parties.
Buy, pack and mail birthday gifts for two out-of-town relatives.
What are the kids wearing for Halloween? Add costume shopping to list.
Dog needs rabies booster.
Find time to wash, dry and style hair and actually put on make-up for driver's license photo renewal.
Give spouse massage (and more) so he offers to help with that huge laundry pile.
Eat chocolate.

When does school start?

2007-08-27T23:58:00.000-04:00

I have a TO-DO List that is expanding daily. It's my: I'll-get-to-that-when-the-kids-are-back-in-school-list. Things are bad here. The laundry, the clutter, the summer mess is growing just like my TO-DO list. I have a lot TO DO when school starts. For now, I'll get the beach bag and pack the kids' swimsuits. The weather looks good tomorrow. Maybe the house isn't spotless, but it's sure been a good summer!

Transform Me

2007-07-02T23:19:00.000-04:00

Transformers change into cool, action-packed heroes—or a hip car. How handy!

I'd like to transform back into my 21-year-old-perfect body. I'm sure it was perfect, because weren't all women "10's" before having babies?

Thank you, Mr. Walt Disney

2007-04-30T21:56:00.000-04:00

We experienced the magic, rode thrill rides, pet wild animals, and took loads of bad photos—mostly of the back of Goofy's head, and now, vacation is over. My brain is Disney mushed. I need one more Mickey Mouse Ice Cream Bar, a chance to help Buzz fight the evil Zerg, and to sweat through another street performance watching the Johnny Depp/Jack Sparrow look-alike woo the ladies. I'll take another day of heat and crowds. Just take me back to that magical land where I didn't have to cook, clean or do laundry for an entire week.

Where's Snowman?

2007-04-20T22:50:00.000-04:00

ANNOUNCEMENT:
Beanie SNOWMAN covered with patches, missing all beans and one arm is LOST!
Goes by the name of SNOWMAN.
Last seen two weeks ago in back seat of car, sitting on birthday favor bag filled with candy.
Search party continues a daily house/car/yard scan and desperately clings to hope of locating SNOWMAN.
Do not discard if found—a certain young child cries for SNOWMAN every night.
Reward for information leading to SNOWMAN'S safe return home.
If you have any knowledge of SNOWMAN'S whereabouts, please call:
1-SNO-MAN-HOME

Dear Virginia Tech Parents

2007-04-16T19:06:00.000-04:00

Dear Virginia Tech Parents,

I cannot begin to understand what you feel or know the depth of loss you're experiencing. But please know that this parent and millions like me, who abhor guns, are thinking of you. Gentle peace to you and your families.

Harried Mom Homework

2007-03-29T13:01:00.000-04:00

Remember "playing school" as a kid? The bossy neighborhood girl always wanted to be the teacher and you went along. I'm playing school in my house these days. Between grocery shopping, feeding the dog and doing (or not doing) the ironing, my dear son has assigned me a geography report due in a few weeks. "Choose a country," he instructed. "I expect a poster, too." I went along when he gave the family a few geography lessons. His enthusiasm was sweet, exclaiming, "We're going to learn about the world!" I now know the population of China and when to expect rain in Australia. What I don't know, is how to ditch this geography assignment. I think I'm stuck, unless I want to break my son's heart. Harried mom homework. The atlas is out. Now, to choose a country for my report.

Out of the Woods

2007-03-12T13:37:00.000-04:00

"Into the Woods"—the school play, is officially over! The kids had a blast and—I must brag—my son was great. He even waved to his grandparents in the audience during his scenes. After hearing the music for two months and watching the show too many times to count, if they revive this show on Broadway, I'm ready to audition. I know every word, song and what props to use—even when to milk the fake cow. Much more fun than vacuuming, I bet.

Welcome Cats in Hats

2007-03-01T16:28:00.000-05:00

In honor of Dr. Seuss, his books and birthday tomorrow, I'd like to welcome any Cats in Hats who'd like to visit. Just drop by, entertain my kids, destroy this quasi-clean house (ha!) and then leave everything perfect (better than ever) while I take the afternoon off. Feel free to leave Thing 1 and Thing 2 behind. I'm sure I can find something to keep them occupied.

Laundry Explosion

2007-02-16T10:44:00.000-05:00

My laundry room has exploded and there are clothes everywhere. Some are clean and folded, some sit in the dryer anxious for care, and then there's that load, nice and dank, in the washer. Oh, and the piles on the floor—those I wade through to get to the top pile, the one closest to the washer screaming "It's my turn! Please wash me!" I could cry or throw a tantrum about how I hate doing laundry, but since it's Friday, I'm taking the easy way out. Just shutting the door. Out of sight...

Party Time!

2007-02-08T09:27:00.000-05:00

Five parties in one week! First, it's the Brownie Valentine Dad/Daughter party and since I'm a co-leader, that means getting paper goods, ordering pizza, bringing candy...and much more. Then followed by dear son's birthday party, a Nacho Libre celebration featuring nachos and basketball. What could be better for 4th grade boys? I better make sure there's air in the balls and clear the snow from under the hoop. Next, two Valentine parties at school. Yep, two. I must have been on something when signed up back in September. Finally, a school pizza party before winter break. Juice boxes, cookies (sans nuts), and more paper goods. At least I can order the pizza.

The word is "NO"

2007-01-15T20:54:00.000-05:00

I just have to type something here a few times, in hopes that I'll learn to say it more often and loud and fast, too, especially when asked to help with school events: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO...

Tempted

2007-01-01T14:51:00.000-05:00

Tempted. Temptation. All those holiday treats waiting to be finished, yes. But this is something stronger. I am tempted to leave all the decorations exactly where they are right now—ready for next year. The green and red ornaments, the ribbons and bows, the paper snowflakes covering the dining room table, the lopsided gingerbread house and even the tree. The thought of untangling the lights from the tree, just to untangle them from the box next December makes me shudder. Besides with just bit of green spray paint, the tree will look like new.

Tis the season...

2006-12-02T21:26:00.000-05:00

To be harried!

It hit me

2006-11-05T13:07:00.000-05:00

Every November 1st, it happens. This year was no exception. I was tossing the squirrel-chewed Jack-o-lantern in the trash, when my stomach flipped. Yep, it's November. Holidays are coming. Relatives are visiting. Thanksgiving first--that means food planning and groceries. And the endless attempt to make something my son will eat besides dinner rolls. Then December crashes into my schedule. Oh, I know it's coming, but it's best ignored until after Thanksgiving.

Things to buy. That means I have to go into a store, a mall, some place where I have to make shopping decisions. Presents must be bought, wrapped, packed and shipped to distant relations. The wish list from my kids will be changed at least twice--after I've bought their gifts. My husband will offer to help with wrapping and decorations, but his work load will increase ten-fold before his holiday vacation, so I'll be stuck with the chores. I have to plan early for the cheesy photo card to send to all the folks that send me one in return. Then there's the school stuff: parties, teacher gifts, parties, friend gifts, baking, parties...Oh, nearly forgot this: Birthday party for my December child. That means more planning: invitations, favors, gifts, cake....Like I said, it hit me.

Disappearing Gloves

2006-10-26T13:03:00.000-04:00

It's only October and we've managed to lose two jackets and three pairs of gloves already. Seems impossible since I just dragged out the winter clothing bin last week—a plastic container stuffed with various mittens, hats, scarves and such. My feeble attempt at organization. Things still get lost. Managed to find one soft glove for my daughter only to discover it wasn't with it's pair, but wrapped up with a sock of the same light blue shade. I regularly haunt the lost and found at school, hoping to discover the two fall jackets my son has lost. I don't want to buy another jacket. Or more gloves. Really. Don't make me shop. But real problem is this: It's only October, and my kids need to wear gloves!

I can't resist

2006-10-08T11:13:00.000-04:00

Even harried parents have to take a break. Today there are six piles of laundry in need of attention. Three full baskets of clean, folded clothes upstairs, just waiting to be tucked away in a nice drawer. And three dirty ones downstairs, littering the laundry room floor, hoping to be tossed in the wash. Yep, I need to take care of this situation. But it's so nice outside. Really nice. An early October autumn Sunday. I can't resist the bright colors of the day calling me outside. Could you?

The Scrambler

2006-09-15T13:44:00.000-04:00

The lazy days of summer vacation are long gone, the relaxing beach trip barely a memory. Imagine being at the carnival and standing near the Scrambler ride. Some folks look thrilled, but most appear stricken with strange facial contortions as they are whipped back and forth Scrambler style. You don't want to ride the Scrambler. It'd be nicer just to get on the Merry-Go-Round, but before you can walk away, you are thrust onto the ride without a seatbelt and you slide all over, the wind and speed knocking you around. You want to throw up. You beg to get off. But you can't. The Scramber just keeps going.

My point? Scrambler equals what school days mean to me.

16 Days

2006-08-21T13:05:00.000-04:00

The kids in the South are back at school, but it's 16 more days in this part of the country when schools begin post Labor Day. I'm not looking forward to the mound of official papers to fill out--always in triplicate and multiply that by mulitiple kids and...well, it's a lot of work. I am looking forward to quiet. At least the quiet in this house between 8:05 and 2:46 Monday through Friday. 2:46. I say push it on up to 3:00 and give a bit less homework. 16 days of summer left to run, play, maybe squabble a bit, eat ice cream, sleep hard and wake up with no alarm clock.

Patrick Starfish

2006-08-03T17:15:00.000-04:00

The camp talent show is tomorrow. We've known about it for two weeks. Yet today, at 5:00, my son tells me he needs a Patrick Star costume. "It has to be pink, but not girly." Okay. "And I have to have the pointy head." I'm not surprised. Just annoyed. Spongebob would be easier. Now, I have to be creative. I have to think.

I'm Bored

2006-07-22T12:31:00.000-04:00

"I'm bored," has become my son's mantra.
I've made offers to ease his boredom. "You can help me fold the laundry." This worked only once. "Read," I suggest.
He holds his, too heavy, Harry Potter IV and is overwhelmed by the length. "I'm only on page 368. I'll never finish."
The long summer days are too long for some, even after day camp activities including swimming, tennis, and ice pops.
If only I could be so bored.

Entertainment Director

2006-06-27T15:48:00.000-04:00

Right this way, please! Join the tour. School's out and this harried mom is leading you on a fun-filled summer vacation. Only the second official day of summer vacation and we've already gone bowling, visited the Intrepid Museum in NY, and enjoyed afternoon tea at a local spot full of breakable fine china. See, even if rain is washing away our beach plans, this mom comes through. Next stop, my closet to dig out the old tap shoes from my dancing days. Soon, I'll be tapping, filling the summer hours any way I can.

Kult Kapers

2006-06-05T14:02:00.001-04:00

Just spent three hours of my precious free time at a Brownie leader training workshop. Strange experience, to be sure. A big sign called the "Kaper Chart" was featured today. Caper with a "c" can mean an illegal act, to leap about, or that salty little berry used as relish, often with salmon. But, Kaper? Mispelled, no. It's a Girl Scout word. Yep, the Girl Scouts have a language. I'll learn more when I return next week for more lessons from the kultlike trainers. Funny, of all the things they talked about today, I only remember "Kaper Chart."

Me and Nanny McPhee

2006-06-03T22:10:00.000-04:00

Family movie night here and we all just watched "Nanny McPhee." Seven ill-behaved children become model tykes when the toothsome Nanny McPhee takes charge. Clever script by Emma Thompson (except for the silly food fight scene), who plays the wart-ridden title character. Her hag appearance changes as the children learn to say please, thank you and how to finally behave. Nanny McPhee becomes radiant and wartless. My kids are polite and fairly well behaved and I'm changing every day, too. Just not into a svelte movie star. My shoulders stoop with fatigue, the hair is rarely brushed, and these hips gained a few inches during labor. No warts, though. That's something.

Slacker mom

2006-05-25T18:56:00.000-04:00

Ever wish you hadn't said something the moment it pops out of your mouth? Yep, sure. My husband casually mentioned how another mom I know is being honored in town for her volunteer fund-raising efforts (which are truly admirable). Instead of saying, "Oh, that's great!" I responded with, "Well hon, too bad you married a slacker." Why did I say that? I'm not a slacker. I run my harried self back and forth from school, volunteering way too much--at the school more than home some days. I run so much, my house is a mess and I haven't bought myself new bras in ages (one of those items on the to-do list that never gets done). Still, with the slacker statement, I not only put myself down, but feel I disrespected the accomplishments of this volunteer non-slacker mom. What's going on inside? Jealous? Perhaps, but not of all the work. Maybe because harried moms throughout the world doing regular mom stuff are just that. Regular. I'm not super-mom. Never will be. Not super at anything but loving these kids. The honor of that is all mine.

Over the Hedge

2006-05-19T22:55:00.000-04:00

Nothing like watching a film with loads of kids in the audience, which means chatter throughout (mine were quiet). I tuned the others out and enjoyed the flick, predictable though it was. Still brought a few real laughs. Also the protesters outside the cineplex with signs praising God and denouncing the DaVinci Code. Uh...wasn't that book fiction. Gotta give Mr. Brown credit for rousing folks to talk, argue, and scream about a story.

Weekend! Been busy, harried. That's why I completely forgot about this blog, along with the milk I forgot to buy and the birthday party I forgot to take my daughter to last week. Mommy brain 100%.

Now what?

2005-09-12T11:36:00.000-04:00

They're back in school, finally. I'm looking at the chaos that surrounds me, after a lazy August. What to do first? Hmm? Clean out the pantry, sort through the clothes my kids have outgrown or just sit and enjoy the silence first? Homework and piano lessons begin again today, as well as fights about doing homework and practicing piano. I've made my choice and have to remember this moment when I need it. Sweet school day silence.

Harried Mom Bliss

2005-08-08T11:36:00.000-04:00

They're at camp. The kids are are camp. Day camp, yes, but I have the house to myself for eight hours. I have projects planned and organizing tactics to use. Instead, I have become a complete lump. Lazy and languid, drinking ice tea and reading Harry Potter 6. I feel guilty about doing nothing, but not enough to stop—doing nothing

Coffee-Shop

2005-05-25T22:01:00.000-04:00

It's tough to "catch up" with an old friend if her cell phone keeps ringing. We meet for a quick coffee. I drink tea.
"I have to buy shorts," she said. "You want to go shopping?"
Whoopee, a shopping party!
Uh, no. I hate to shop for myself so why would I want to go with someone else.
The lines, and the clothes that never fit right even if I do buy them. I end up returning everything and wearing old sweats that are just too comfortable not to wear. This is why I have no decent clothes.
I shop for the kids.
Harried mom speed shopping: Zip, zip, pile up the cart! Quick ten minutes to buy them spring and summer clothes.
In and out, done.

Sex dream

2005-05-16T10:39:00.000-04:00

I had a dream about the guy from the last Apprentice—the smarmy guy with the bow tie. I don't even know his name. A weird kissing/naked sort of dream that left me feeling even more harried. Why him? Couldn't it have been George Clooney, instead? Yep, it's time for my husband and I to have a little one-on-one time.

Ow!

2005-05-05T09:36:00.000-04:00

Too much exercise yesterday to fight off the five or so pounds I think I put on during vacation. I'd become a slug from not moving enough and now I feel like I've been beat up. I can barely walk and the arms...oh, sore shoulders, too.

Can someone come over and lift the sixty pounds of laundry I need to get downstairs and into the washer?

2005-05-02T13:46:00.000-04:00

May Day

2005-05-02T11:16:00.000-04:00

I'm a day late, but excited to see the last post worked--twice. Even with the misspelling. Groceries. There.

Dreamt about sleeping late and having to rush to get the kids back to school on the first day after spring break. Yes, dreams do come true. We all overslept. We're still on west coast time. We rushed, we griped, but we made it before the bell rang.

I have so much to do and all I wanna do is sleep.

Back from La La Land

2005-04-30T13:51:00.000-04:00

Let's see if this post takes. My last few have vanished into the internet abyss.

L.A. with the family for spring break. Except for the 6 hour flight each way and lots of driving, a fantastic trip. The kids were great--really. Oh, a few minor tiffs, mainly about who got to push the elevator buttons in the hotel. Loved getting soaked by Shamu, but the Journey to Atlantis ride brought tears. Yep, I was scared, too. They should have a warning sign, "Cowardly moms not allowed."

Now, back to the grind. Dirty laundry. Groeries needed. Nothing to eat in the house but dry cereal. It's official: Vacation's over.

Back from La La Land

2005-04-30T13:40:00.000-04:00

The fish are alive!

2005-02-15T13:47:00.000-05:00

The fish are alive. Yep, it's been a week now and no dead fish. I'm celebrating tonight after I wrap twenty goodie bags for my son's birthday party tomorrow. Twenty boys and a magician. I better hide the not-so-fine china. I better hide the fish food, too. Kids love to feed fish. And feed and feed.

Party mom

2004-12-16T13:47:00.000-05:00

Three parties tomorrow. Okay, first make the four quiches I offered to supply for the potluck tennis gathering. Next, get the hot chocolate hot for the second grade Polar Express Party. Last, and oh so much more than least, rush to get the balloons, cake, pizza and get back home before sixteen kindergarteners arrive for my daughter's 6th birthday. No time to write now. I'm on the run.

Some Helpful Advice

2004-11-13T00:37:00.000-05:00

Do not have a playdate with two exhausted 5-year olds.

Do not allow same 5-year-olds to make their own chocolate milk while you attempt to untie the knot in your 7-year-old's sneaker.

Do not offer hard Halloween candy to a child with a loose tooth.

Do not let a tiny tooth fall on the floor near your canine vacuum cleaner. According to your mutt, if it lands on the floor, it's fair game.

Do not allow less than thirty minutes to pack three kids into a station wagon, including shoes, socks, coats, and safety belts.

Do not. Repeat. Do not push the garage door button if the door is already open. As you back out of your garage and the door closes on your car, you will enjoy the sights and sounds of shattering glass.

Do not worry. Everyone is fine, except my harried nerves and the car, of course.

Tadpoles

2004-11-11T23:59:00.000-05:00

The kids are in bed. The husband's been fed. The dog and the tadpoles, too. Yes, tadpoles. Who decided tadpoles would be a cool birthday gift for kids? Someone who doesn't mind giving a harried mom just one more ridiculous way to fill my already fully-packed day. My kids are out of diapers, the dog is finally house broken, and now I have to clean tadpole poop out of a slimy frog habitat every day, twice a day. Soon, Susan and Ditty (my kids named them) will be frogs. Oh, joy! Frog poop to scoop.